Do You Work to Live or Live to Work?

No one grows up thinking, -I want to drive Toyota- (1)

I need to get the car fixed.

I reminded myself as I walked down the long but scenic stretch to the clock -in counter at my hotel day job. If the car is fixed, I can get to work earlier and have more time to prepare for the work day.

I don’t even like this car, the red career demon on my left shoulder appeared in a puff of smoke. If I had a better income I could buy a better car. Hmm.. My dream car. A BMW 116i (I have a thing for coupes). “Be realistic”, my white career angel adjusted his halo, glaringly waving his degree at me.

Am I living to work or working to live? Am I reorganizing my entire life and priorities in order to be a better employee?

Is the energy that you put out everyday going towards making you a better employee or is your energy going towards building something for yourself? When you get paid, how much of that is budgeted for work clothes, work lunch, transportation to and from work, work hair, work nails?

How much of your daily energy and resources go towards making you  a better employee?

How much do you invest in making someone else rich?

I take my vitamins each morning, rush home to get enough rest so I can perform well at my job; give it my best.

I don’t even like this job. I accepted it because I was unemployed for a few months and I had reached panic mode where I would accept anything. That’s what I did.

Ask yourself, “What do I get in return?” Lame salary, grumpy boss, not even a thank you when you know your report was beyond ‘very good’.

It is said that human beings have limited potential. However, based on Physics, we have limited energy and based on Biology; limited time.

You can spend that time and energy on improving your employee status or you can direct the same amount of energy into building something amazing for yourself.

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Is Your Wealth Model Broken?

charles-bukowski-quotes-how-in-the-hell-could-a-person-enjoy

Your wealth model is your total income and the means by which you attain it. If the post above is familiar to you, your wealth model just might be broken.

“When you work for others, you are at their mercy. They own your work; they own you. Your creative spirit is squashed. What keeps you in such a position, is a fear of having to sink or swim on your own. Instead you should have a deeper fear of what should happen if you remain dependent on others for power. The ultimate power in life is to be completely self-reliant, completely yourself.” – 50cent The 50th Law

The first step to shifting this model to a more effective one is to start your own business. How do we do that?

Define the following:

  • Your product/service (What can you offer?)
  • The demand for it (Who would pay for it)
  • Your competitors (Who else offers similar services)
  • Your target market (Who will you sell to)
  • How to Market to them (What’s the best medium to reach them)
  • How Much to Charge (Cost vs Value)
  • How to Keep them coming back (Delight and retain)

Think about it, right, with a business, if you can learn how to sell something for $10, you can do that 100 times and make $1000, then to that 10 times and make $10,000. Then do that 10 times and make $100,000 and again another ten times, that’s $1,000,000!  Do you think you can do that with a job, trading money for time?

No way.

Owning your own business is the most effective method to wealth building.

I remember my own ‘light bulb’ moment. I had been working in the hospitality industry for a few months. The hours were gruelling,. I barely saw my child and barely had time for myself. The salary did not match the required hours.

I thought to myself, if I could get up at 5 am every morning, stroll home at 11 pm each night for someone else’s profit, how much energy would I put into my ownbusiness?

This simple self-reflective question changed everything. Immediately, my energy shifted from building their company to building myself. According to James Altrucher, “Don’t quit your job immediately. You’re going to get fired eventually anyway.”

Progress follows energy and effort.

With this new shift, you will notice less energy being put in your daily job duties as your time and mental energy goes into research, networking, planning for you own future.

Selfish/unethical?

Hardly.

You have to realize that as an employee, you are replaceable.

The only way to have what you want, is to build it. If you live in fear of losing your job, they can ask you to put up with undesirable conditions and you will agree… Out of fear. Unless you are steering your own ship and by extension, your destiny, you are just a cog in their system.

You have to break out of the mold and recognize that everything that you have been investing in building someone else’s empire could be used to start your own.

I admit it isn’t easy to suddenly change course and drop everything  to explore a brand new life. That’s what this blog is for.To encourage you through the steps.

Millions of others have done it and so can you.

All the best in your future freedom-seeking adventures!

Stephanie.

 

For additional motivation on your journey to financial freedom, check out this EBook for tips on how to shift your mindset from the 9-5 to wealth building mentality.

3 Reasons You Don’t Need a Mentor to Succeed

Stop asking for permission

A month ago I ended a fifteen year friendship.

It was not as difficult as I thought it would have been. In a brief four sentence conversation I realized I had outgrown my dear friend. I also realized just how much weight his opinion had carried in my life and I was more than ready to sever that influence and move forward.

“I cannot take advice from you because I do not want to be where you are”, were my exact words. It hit me just how true these words are and I continue to live by them. He promptly in disdain, began to list his accomplishments including his PhD and his lofty  management responsibilities at his job.

Job!

The very anti-thesis of my life philosophy!

I’m sure that having a mentor is awesome but be aware that you will never go higher than the person whose opinions you value or whom you look to for validation. Your subconscious (that habit dependent part of your brain) will always find a way to keep you looking up to them by keeping you under them.

Give no man the position of being able to crush you or limit you at any moment.

Quite recently, my ‘habit induced brain’ led me to be drawn to another potential mentor. I admired him. I looked up to him. Until one afternoon, with a few texted paragraphs, he crushed me. I was at the mercy of his whim and moods because I ate up everything he said like it was the last living and breathing testament of the gospel of entrepreneurship.

I gave him power. I begged for his permission. The result? I began to see his opinions as my own truth.

And isn’t that what constantly asking advice is all about? Asking for someone else’s permission or confirmation to do something that you want to do. Asking a mentor for his opinion?

A few draw backs of having a mentor:

  1. You become limited by the success of your mentor
  2. What worked for them may not necessarily work for you
  3. The belief that you can’t succeed without a mentor is a limiting one, especially if you never find a good mentor
  4. The potential for human dependency is an ever present one

So how do we stop asking for permission? Especially when we are surrounded by close friends and associates who constantly offer it.

  • Realize that you are an entity all by yourself – A unique universe within the universe

What worked for your mentor won’t necessarily work for you. Maybe because you’re an individual and may have a very different approach to things. Give your individuality space to breathe. The success goal might be the same but there are several paths to get there.

  • Quit the urge to please other people

This is a primal one, I know. This caveman like urge to be with the herd in order to survive; to take directives from the master. I am yet to find another article that better explains this phenomenon along with amazing advice on how to curb it – Taming the Mammoth: Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think

  • Get comfortable with self- accountability

The scariest part of moving from a 9-5 into entrepreneurship is having no else to blame but you. There’s no bull headed boss (Oh wait, that’s you!), no rigid HR rules, no ridiculous company policy – No excuses. The failures and bumps are all yours to own but so are the victories. Having a mentor can block you from shouldering the full consequences of your actions and attempts. Uncertainty is something you must become comfortable with.

Slowly, very slowly, as your authenticity blossoms you will attract your tribe. Out of the social wood work they will climb and they will recognize you just the way you are – being your authentic self.

So, take a hammer to those mental pedestals and pull down the elevated restrictions these idols have placed in your mind. You are free to experience your own failures, attempts, victories, un-trodden paths and adventures.

Realize that exploring the world alone is a two fold purpose. You uncover and you create, like a tapestry with a pattern that is completely unique to you.

Quit asking permission from  others to live a life that is completely your own.

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http://www.isaiahhankel.com/book

How To Stop Being A Victim

THE PITY THRONE

You sit on the exaggerated pile of failures and bad fortune and declare yourself the King of Sorrows. There, on your self made throne of pity, that you have built out of every negative experience you have ever had, you defend your victim-hood.

You guard it with your life.

You pay for it with your potential.

Eventually, it becomes your story; your identity. You forget who you were before these things happened to you. Before the loss, the grief, the abuse, the wrongs. You form a new self; a new persona carved out of complaints, “poor me’s”.

But what do you get from being a victim?

You get the right to be right

After being wronged for so long, you get to feel like the good person in comparison. The problem with this of course is that you are now, not allowed to wrong anyone else; to hurt anyone. So, you begin to fight for the right to always be right. This is a heavy burden for any human being. It’s a tiresome, impossible fight.

You get attention

Everyone likes a good sob story…until they don’t; until it gets old and they long for the company of others who are positive who have uplifting stories to share. But your grief and misfortune demands the attention of everyone. This becomes a heavy burden for those around you.

You feel validated

Finally, people agree that yes, you have been wronged. Validation is a very important aspect of moving beyond abuse and trauma. But it is only one aspect. And constantly depending on others for validation makes you dependent on them eventually. Learn to validate your own feelings and actions.

You no longer have to try

It becomes your free pass from taking risks; trying new things. After all you’re fragile, you’ve been hurt. People will understand and even empathize with your lack of effort. They know how much you have been hurt. You are allowed not to try. When your sad story becomes your identity, people stop expecting much from you.

You get to avoid responsibility

After all, you are the one who has been damaged in some way. Everything you do is understandable. You get away with the outcome of actions, failures because someone else is always to blame.

But most of all you get to be king of something!

“You can’t be victim and victor. Choose one”.

The psychology of victim mentality lies in the concept of learned helplessness.

Some animals were placed in a room (clearly long before animal-rights was a thing). Invisible lasers are fixed at the only exit. Each time the animals would attempt to leave the room, they were jolted with an electric shock causing pain and hence dissuading them from trying to leave.

After several determined attempts, the animals learn.

They stop trying.

They don’t even go near the exit anymore.

The laser is removed from the entrance, but the animals have already learned that it is helpless; escaping is futile. They give up. They accept their new door-less prison.

Everything can be taken from a man or woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. To choose one’s own way – Victor Frankl (concentration camp survivor)

1. Take Responsibility

Admit to yourself how you could have made better choices. The purpose of this isn’t to direct fault at one party or another but to take back control instead of powerlessly drifting along with the way things are. You always have a choice, even if it is as simple as maintaining a positive attitude in-spite of what has been done to you. This is the most powerful choice of all.

Evaluating your decision making process immediately puts you in the drivers seat. and opens up possibility of a different outcome.

2. Play the “What If” Game

Learned helplessness comes with a side order of negativity which can spiral into a mindset of always expecting bad things to happen. So you look for the bad in order to not disappoint your mindset. Use an ‘opposite outcome’ exercise when you are tempted to expect only the worse. Have  a little chat with yourself. What if, things actually work out well? What if not everyone is trying to hurt/use/abuse me? What if there are nice honest people out there. Newsflash: There are! But victim-hood attracts even more abusive situations. You can change the outcome by expecting good things.

3. Forgive

Yourself firstly, for not being more cautious, for not seeing the red flags; for not choosing you. You are human. Forgive persons who have hurt you. Let it go. You will begin to heal when you have let go of past hurts, forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself.

4. Gratitude and Giving

Remind yourself of just how much you have to offer through gratitude and giving back.. What could yo possibly have to give? Your time, your expertise, a listening ear. remove yourself from the complaining seat for once. Try listening and empathizing with someone without comparing your own circumstances or subtly fighting for the place of “biggest victim”. Practice gratitude every single day Make it a first each morning. while still in bed, imaging everything you woke up with.

Gratitude re positions your brain to a place of abundance and opens you up to even more positive vibrations to receive.

Accepting victim-hood is akin to a driver “dying right”. If you are driving on the right side of the road and a vagabond driver tries to overtake putting you in jeopardy, do you swerve to save your own skin or stay on the ‘right of way’ path, and crash?

Don’t let victim-hood cause you to “die right”. Sometimes the only adjustments that can be made are completely up to us.

5 Cures For The Common Curse

false beliefs

There comes a point when.. you have tried, so many times.. in so many ways..yet you keep failing again and again. That point when everything you touch turns to s**t and you begin to imagine forces beyond your control puppeteering your life and sabotaging all your plans.

It happens.

If it has never happened to you count yourself lucky and if it does one day, come back and read this post.

For those of us who have had these frustrating experiences, we know the temptation to give up. We have been familiar with the fear of trying anything else; the fear of tying up anymore precious capital by trying another attempt or most importantly, the fear of facing the disappointment in your loved ones eyes… if they are still around.

You have already lost so much. More than seems bearable. You have felt the humiliation of being proven wrong, the burden of defeat, the clouds of doubt in our abilities to rise again.

You feel cursed.

Repeated failure in business is a hard blow to take. Not only is your ability to attain success under scrutiny, but your very identity, which is usually closely tied to your occupation, is openly questioned. It is a loss and it is painful.

Why does this keep happening?

Are you truly cursed?

I am not about to dig into the definition, history and cultural appropriation of curses. But I will say that the principle of a curse is based on a transfer of power. When you believe that you are cursed, you begin to operate within the limitations of this belief. You then give up on trying, admit defeat and stop half way on your journey to greatness.

Cursed or not, you have more mental power than you think to battle all your limiting beliefs. The only way to take down a powerful force is by using its own power. If a curse can make you believe that you are indeed powerless, the curse (or those who desire to curse you) wins the battle.

A man is already defeated if he believes his inability to fight back.

If negative words have been coded into your subconscious, you have the power to challenge and overcome these beliefs. This programmed thinking is a kind of curse.

A person’s mind is so powerful. It can invent, create, experience and destroy things with thoughts alone.

All it takes is one negative belief.

One comes to believe whatever one repeats to oneself whether the statement is true or not.

Your magnificent, resourceful and logical brain, then tries to find evidence through memories and in your present environment to support this one belief in order to maintain consistency.

You Can Regain Control

Whether an outside force or an internal one, you can ‘break a curse’ by resetting and reinforcing new thoughts – positive thoughts about yourself and encouraging thoughts about your circumstances.

Get your brain back on your side!

1. Maintain a supportive environment

Surround yourself with people who believe in you. Avoid the naysayers, whose words facilitate the curse experience. Find people who have similar goals and dreams and network with them. Environment is one of the most effective factors in behavior change

2. Keep a list of all your accomplishments and positive contributions nearby

The brain operates in a logical, fact – controlled way. If we feed it evidence that suggests a certain thing, it will look for even more evidence to support that belief in order to maintain consistency. Remind yourself every now and then of all the wonderful things you have done.

3. Practice gratitude

The principle of gratitude works by reinforcing thoughts of abundance in your mind. It takes the focus off what you don’t have and places it on what you do have. Gratitude is very effective in resetting ‘curse mentality’ that takes hold in the mind.

4. Be patient with yourself

This thought process didn’t develop overnight. In fact many of these limiting beliefs take root during childhood and will require time, patience and reinforcement to be completely removed.

5. Practice Self compassion

Don’t beat yourself up. We do the best we can with the tools we have until we discover better ways or tools to work with. It’s all a part of the process of growth.

To get even more tools on how to change your mindset into one that creates wealth, take a look at Creating a Wealthy Mindset, also available on Amazon.

You Lose To Learn. But Learn What?

As low as you can goAs high as you can fly

I stared at the bathroom mirror not really seeing my reflection. I saw instead through my peripheral sight, my newly constructed vision sheet. It sparkled with its artistically designed collection of my future ambitions and goals.

Little did I know that, according to Paulo Coelho in that fated moment that my Bic pen (yes they still exist) hit that piece of paper…. the minute those squiggles that form words and language were drawn on my son’s construction parchment… In that very moment…

“The universe started to conspire to bring me eveything I had asked for” – The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho.

Based on the law of polarity, as low as you can go is as high as you will fly. In other words, the universe heeded my request by first bringing me to a depth I had not previously known so that I could eventually attain the height that I desired. There is a direct relationship between how low we go and how high we can fly.

So, back to the question: What do we learn when we lose?

  • If we lose friends and associates, we learn how to be self reliant.
  • If we lose financial abundance, we learn how to use our creativity to get things done.
  • If we lose our indpendence, we learn how to humbly depend on others.
  • We lose our material possessions to learn that happiness does not depend on them.
  • We lose our sense of security to learn that no such thing truly exists.

Trust me the universe is not partial. If you require success, it will drag you through the depths you need to experience in order to achieve this success. I dare mention here the old adage, ‘Be careful what you wish/pray/ask for’.

If your ambitions are high and your dreams lofty, you will lose. You have to lose. It is the only path to grow into what you desire to become. If you desire spiritual enlightenment, you will lose the comfort of all the beliefs that you were taught about spirituality.

No one can attain a higher level by staying on the same plane. There are thigs you will have to let go to move up. These are things you will lose, possibly repeatedly until you get the message… until your mental paradigm is forcefully shifted into a new set of beliefs.

This is why you lose… anything. And this is how you learn.

The paper on the bathroom mirror included a starburst with the words “Monthly income of $450,000” written in. At some point on the journey, when my vision expanded exponentially I wrote the EBook, Creating a Wealthy Mindset. I then went back to that bathroom mirror and I added a ‘0’ to that figure.

“Monthly income of $4,500,000” it now read. Almost immediately, I started to experience more loss. The previous challenges I had been through prepared me for a $450,000 monthly income not a four point five million dollar one! So, I had to be plunged even further down in order to be prepared for a seven figure income.

That innocent act of writing another zero on my expected monthly earnings, catapulted a series of changes and the universe conspired even further to help me achieve this goal. I faced more loss, more betrayal, more disappointments. I experienced a lonliness that is still indescribable. The 450,000 dollar plans started to fail one by one to make way for 4.5 million dollar plans.

“Every adversity, every failure and every heartache, carries within it the seed of an equal or greater benefit” – Napoleon Hill

Decide how high you desire to fly and prepare for the equal depths of loss and failure. My hope is that in understanding exactly what’s happening to you, you wont give up. There is a method to this madness.

Feel free to share your own experiences with failure and loss and how you learned from them.

Losing The Fear Of Change

I didnt forgetwhere i camefrom. i justcan't stay there

The tiles were yellow and faded.

Aged and handled magazines covered the coffee table. As I sat in the doctor’s office of my hometown, I saw several familiar faces. People I had known forever but never quite got around to meeting.

It was my first week on the road as a Pharmaceutical Rep. As I patiently waited for the receptionist to signal for me to steal a few minutes with the doctor, I overheard a conversation between two patients.

“I didn’t know you still lived in this town”. A young man in construction boots and soiled clothes responded, “I was born here. Where else would I be? I’m not going anywhere.”

A very simple realization that many people never get, is that fact that…

You are not a tree!

You are not planted where you were born or to any destination or situation that you happen to land in. You always have a choice to move. As humans, growth and change are not only natural, they are inevitable.

If you choose to stay where you are because you are very happy there, then that’s great! But that is very different from the notion of staying in one place simply because you were born (not planted) there.

You have to no obligation to stay where you are. Travel and explore. Have adventures and discover other places and things that resonate with your desires; your authenticity.

You owe it to yourself to find out what you like and dislike outside the influences of your hometown folk.

Similarly, never stay in a career or a job simply beacause you made that choice when you were younger. Never be afraid to move and try other things. Never be afraid to admit, “This isn’t for me. Let me try something else”. Discover your passion, try a new hobby, start a side business.

See what else is out there.

I dare you to move.

You can start by ordering a copy of Creating a Wealthy Mindset. Start by removing the mental untruths that have prevented you from living the life of your dreams.

Discover financial freedom and pave your path to success.

 

From Pain To Purpose

He who has the power of turning all negative vibes in his path into positive energy has learned the meaning of life

When I went broke, I experienced severe emotional pain. In my mind, there was nothing more painful than not having a steady stream of income. It stole my independence and my freedom – two of the things I valued dearly.

I got angry

Felt helpless

I felt like a slave to whomever I allowed to offer assistance. It was not a good feeling. I felt lesser than, beneath those who were still taking care of ‘biz’ and handling their lives with their steady incomes.

I also promised myself that I would help anyone who ever found themselves in these circumstances, which formed the foundation of ‘Creating a Wealthy Mindset’.

It soon dawned on me that my identity (idea of who I was) was so closely tied to being financially independent that not being in that place (no matter how temporary) was messing with my self esteem and causing great pain.

What did I have to offer now?

Who was I?

I felt diminished.

The issue wasn’t a lack of money. I certainly wasn’t starving. I ate each day satisfactorily and slept each night in safety. But the very thing I had identified my values with, was stripped from me.

People will fight and claw and do anything to protect that which identifies them.

Whatever you get your value from, is what you will fight tooth and nail for.

Getting and having money is great but what are your values and how are they tied in to how you make money, how you invest that money and your general contribution to the betterment of the world.

In other words, why the hell should you be wealthy?

If you are comfortable where you are right now, smooching off some relative, barely making it by each month what motivation is there to change, to move from where you are?

You need to tap into your pain source

What is the most painful thing about where you are?

Do they feed you but complain about it or give you attitude as they throw food in your mouth?

Do you long for freedom from other people’s idea of living.

So, what identifies you? What are your values? How do you define yourself?

This is your pain.

Use it. Wield it.

Put all that frustrating energy into creating your own life. Design it just the way you want. Let your pain help you to remain uncomfortable until you are where you want to be.

Transform that energy

That pain you feel now is your potential energy. Like a stone being pulled back in a slingshot. That stone holds within it massive energy to buss someone’s head if released (lol), but it won’t do any damage until it’s released. The pulling back of the stone increases its potential energy (the farther back it’s pulled, the greater force it will have when released).

The greater your potential energy (your pain), the greater the force when you become released. So, increase that pain when you can. Use it as your motivation to keep planning, keep going.

This is not the end of your story, merely a dark chapter. That middle chapter of your amazing biography. No great book goes without having a dark scary chapter for the hero/ heroine to overcome.

Dare you to move…

Stephanie ♥